I am feeling hopeless now.  Everything is goind so bad.  Only a month ago I was so happy, making almost $900 a week.  Now I am losing everything.

I started today again without confidence, got out of the first position very quickily, making only $25.  Then on the second position I lost it and got back to 0.0.  Than I entered a third position, a short one, which started very well.  It was already at $75, but wanted to wait for a bit more.  It went back and forth till I decided to add one more contract to get the profit I wanted quicker.  But then it suddenly turned around, go up.  I waited and waited, not sure if the market will come back down again.  At one point I got back to 0.0, but I still wanted to wait a bit more.  Than everything went wrong.  The market climbed up.  I finally quit at -$550.

I am in such a despair.  I don’t know if I can profit again.  I keep losing everything.

Why am I so STUPID? I again lost $1000. Only yesterday my account was back up over $5000, and I was gaining profit, and now I am down again to $4000, and have to do the work again.

I was so stupid, breaking my rules again. My daughter was having her classes’ end-of-year party today at 17:00, and I knew I did not have the time to trade and should leave it for the evening. But I just couldn’t hold myself, I wanted to trade early. I jumped to a position much too early, only a 2-3 minutes after trading in the stock exchange opened in 16:30 Israel time, and even not in a support line. I thought I can guess the direction of the market. Of course I was wrong. I added one more contract on a lower suppport line, and another, and nothing helped: The market was diving down against me.

I remembered my rule of not adding too many contracts, and got out of one of them in loss, but nothing helped. The market continued going down, and I was losing and losing. It was time already to leave, and was waiting for a good time to exit in minimum loss. The market seemed to be stamping in place for a few minutes. I let myself go to the toilet for 2 minutes, and when I came back – WOW! The market dived down, I got to my $1000 limit and was thrown out of the platfrom.

What shall I do now? After such a good month I had, I thought I got the hand of it and am going to make a fortune. Now I just keep loosing again. I have not lost hope, as I know I did have a few good weeks. But I need so much money to get over summer time with the kids vacations! Can I stick it out? Will I be able to stick to the rules and make some profit? It really seems like a self-defeating thread. I must get over it!

I will now write down my rules, and print them. I MUST stick to my rules if I want to go on. I am not sure if tomorrow will be a day off from trading, or only a slowing down day. In any case, I really must get out of this loosing pattern!

Looking forward to better days.

N.B. At least my daughter is happy. She had enjoyed herself in her party.

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Today I lost -$375 on 8 contracts. I begun with a fair position of 2 contracts in which I made $75. Then I begun to loose – I had one big bad position (of 5 contracts), and then a small loss with one more contract. When I was in the middle of that big contract I forgot their was supposed to be a financial report at 17:00, in which I shouldn’t have been in a position. But I forgot, and then my son called me at exactly 17:00 when the market was diving down and I was in the middle of a loosing long position. In my confusion I pressed buy instead of sell when I wanted to exit on one position, which of course made things worse.

Last time I lost -$1000 I also lost the next day, I think it then was about -$300. I think I have to make my self a rule that on the day after a big loss, especially a grand -$1000 loss (which I hope not to have again!), I must do it slowly, and quit after one position, whatever the result is.

I have to leave now to take my son, but later today I want to sit down and writer here my rules. And you, my readers, are invited to point out to me any violation. Please!

I lost again $1000 and got locked for the day!!!!!!

As some of you may already know, Wednesday is the day when I have to trade early so I can take my daughter to my swimming lesson. Well, I started trading early, but things did not end when I had to take her. Well, I left 2 profit exit points in a reasonable place, a far enough stop loss, and went out to take her.

Because of this, I did not wait to watch her swiming as usual, but ran back home to check my position. Everything was well: The exit points caught, and I made a $187.5 profit with 3 contracts. I should have stopped there, as I had decided already that a $150 profit is enough for me.

But this morning I took a look at my bank account and things were nasty there. So I decided to try again. BIG MISTAKE. The market went against me, and I had to go out and get her back. I went out again, and when I got back things were awfull: The market went way in the other direction, and I was at -$650. No points had caught yet, and I sat and waited. At one point it got back to -$425. I should have sold one contract then, but no: I stayed in the position, and finally it got to the terrible -$1000 point were I got locked out for the day. All this weeks profits are gone (and more), my confidence is almost gone, and my bank account…. Oh well. It will have to wait.

Back to square one.