Today’s Saga

Posted by Deb | Big Loss,Day Trading Journey | Friday 8 July 2011 5:23 pm

I opened the simulator today and found the market diving down. It seemed near the end of the dive, but I jumped quickly on the wagon and gained $112.5 over 2 contracts. I put an order for 2 more contracts but then thought to myself: What the heck, I should do this on live. So I opened the live trade.

I was telling myself: It is the end of the dive, I am not ready yet to go live. But my impulsivity won. I entered a live short position with 2 contracts, and lost $100.

I told myself: This can’t be. So I tried again, and manged with another 2 contracts to reduce my loss to $50.

I decided to try again. The diving begun again, so I entered another short position with 2 contracts. The market went up again, and up. I didn’t want to quit. I stoped my self from adding any contracts to “even out”, so I just waited and waited. Finally I quit: A loss of $387.5 over another 2 contracts.

While writing this I was thinking to myself: I can’t let this go on. I can’t go back under $1500 in my account. If TransAct risk management will put any more limits on my trading, it will be already impossible to trade. I have to try again. I added one more contract, and lost $50.

I think my account is now in the lowest of all times. I hope TransAct will not punish me for that. Anyway, I think live trade will be off limit for a while now. And when I get back to it, it will have to be with the limits I set to myself a few months ago, until I am over $1500 again: Only one contract, a limit of $37.5 profit per day and $50 loss.

Oh, Wow. In low times I remind myself of the fantastic trading weeks I had about 14 months ago. But how many losses do I need to erase those glorious times? Do I have any future in futures trading?

As my readers now, I am a persistant person. I try again and again, and don’t want to quit. But is there any sense in this?


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Another Disaster

Posted by Deb | Big Loss | Friday 17 June 2011 4:37 pm

I am already ashamed to write of these things. I am so stupid.

I had a fight with my neighbor’s son over the parking. This family always park their car blocking my access to or from my own parking space. He was very rude and tried to shout at me. I remained poker-faced, telling him to stop shouting at me.

When I started trading after this I was boiling inside. I didn’t really feel it, but I traded foolishly. I quit my first position (over 2 contracts) with a loss of $287.5. Somehow this helped me feel better. I know, I am crazy. I decided I will win the next position. I entered again, and quit with a total loss of $400.

I tried a few more positions of 1 contract each, and went back to a loss of $312.5. Than I entered one more position, and quit with a total loss of $500.

Stupid, stupid me. How will I control this impulsiveness of mine? Sometimes I think I need to get some Ritalin (I know I have untreated ADD), or just some calming remedy before trading. I probably should have done this today.

Ok. I have to start calming myself before trading. I also have to start doing the Atkins Diet. So much for my resolutions.

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Stupid, Stupid Me!

Posted by Deb | Big Loss,Day Trading Journey | Wednesday 8 June 2011 9:41 pm

I wasn’t careful enough today. I went into a short position without enough indicators. Then the market starting going up, and instead of backing out I waited throught. The market went up and up, and I panicked. I decided to quit, but instead of moving my stop-limit to buy, or just buy manually, I accidently pressed “sell”! I lost more and more, till I got locked out! $750 down the drain. I am so stupid, so angry at myself!

I was getting so sure of myself, thinking now I am in the right direction and soon I will be on top of the market, and here again! Such failure!

Now the market is going back down. Soon I could have been quitting with a more agreeable loss. Why couldn’t I just use the stop-loss as it should be used? Why didn’t I plan ahead and put the stop-loss in the right position? When will I learn?

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Learning How To Lose

Posted by Deb | Big Loss,Day Trading Journey | Tuesday 12 April 2011 7:02 pm

Today I lost. Big loss: -$437.5 over 2 contracts.

I waited a long time for a right moment to go in. I missed a good position by hesitating too much at the begining, and then waited and waited, and finally lost my patience. I entered with one contract, and when the market went against me I added one more contract instead of getting out: I had no real indicator that the market will where I wanted it to go. I was stubborn and stupid.

With the 2 contracts, I had a good opportunity to get out with a small loss, but it was still a bigger loss than I was prepared to endure so I waited and waited, and finally lost big time.

On a different level, I was telling people about my trading experience. In the past, after every time I spoke with people about my trading – I lost. I guess when speaking about trading with other people I get into the mood of “yes, I am a trader. I will trade every day and win”. And then my ego gets too big and I enter positions without being cautious enough. Instead of telling myself today: “I couldn’t find a good time to enter today, so never mind – I will trade tomorrow”, I entered with no real indicators, and then waited for the market to turn around with no real indicators it will ever do that.

A few weeks ago, when I starting the current “trading period”, I remember quitting a position with a small loss and being happy and proud of myself of quitting on time. Today I lost it. I didn’t quit in time, and lost big time.

I am stubborn. I will continue. I will make progress. I have to go back to trading cautiously, only when I have real indicators, and quitting in time.

Wish me luck!

——————————————-

I ate a lot of chocolate. I screamed unproportionally on my eldest boy. I am trying to be indifferent, but I am not. I lost the profits of 3 weeks. I stopped being cautious about my trading. Will I be ever able to trade “by the rules”, and make a real profit? This is so discouraging!

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More Mistakes

Posted by Deb | Big Loss,Day Trading Journey | Thursday 14 October 2010 6:29 pm

I lost again, and I think today’s loss can be marked as “big loss”. I lost $187.5 on 2 contracts, which for the size of my account now can be compared to my losses of $1000 a few months ago.

Again, I can only blame myself. I waited for the right time to enter the market, but finally I was on a hurry and put an order hastily in the wrong place: 2 pips before the resistance line. When I realized my mistake, instead of just getting out of the position I added one more contract on the resistance line, though I am not supposed to be on 2 contracts now, with the size of my account. Then I didn’t want to lost, moved the stop-loss, till I got to this loss. Shame on me!

With this loss, I am almost out of the market. If I lost another $260 I will not be able to trade, as my broker will not let me trade if my account is less than $1000, and I am not in the position to add more funds to my account now. I really have to think what to do. I think I will trade on the demo for a few days now.

I feel so undisciplined. I was thinking today that trading is a bit like being on a diet: You have to be very disciplined. But when you are hungry, it is very difficult to diet. And my financial position now makes me hungry. I try not to see the trading as a sourced of income now, as realistically even if I start making profit again I have to wait a few months to get my account big enough again, but it is difficult.

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Making Profit in Spoons, Losing in Buckets

Posted by Deb | Big Loss,Day Trading Journey,Politics | Tuesday 31 August 2010 8:38 am

Is that the exact quote? I am not sure. Anyway it conveys my situation, and as I understand the situation of many other beginning traders. When we make profit, we make it in small amounts, quiting our winning positions too quickly being afraid to lose the profit we have made so far. When in losing positions, we don’t want to quit and make the loss final. We hope the market will turn around and make the position profitable. We sit and wait and wait, till the loss becomes too unbearable, or till our broker locks us out.

Yesterday it happened to me on the demo. It wasn’t a good time for trading: I spent all day with my kids (school finally starts tomorrow. Hurray!). I came home at 20:45 with my two little ones, very tired after a day with many adventures. Found out my oldest had not yet taken out the dog, so I went out with her immediately. Than I had to fix up supper for the same boy, who couldn’t find himself anything to eat by himself before I came back. He came back home earlier straight from a birthday party where he had pizza and snacks, but that isn’t enough for an pre-adolscent 12-year-old.

When I finally got to open the trading platfrom it was about 21:30 (9:30 PM for you Americans). I was tired, and in the middle of making supper. I didn’t have time to sit near the pc, so the position exited without me with a not-so-bad loss ($75). When I came back and saw it I wanted to try again. I was tired, didn’t evaluate the situation correctly, and went in with a long position although it was already a down-day (what is refered to as a bears market).

The position made a little profit in the begining, but as it was the demo my limit order didn’t catch (in the demo they make your order the last in queue). Then the market turned down. I added more positions to this losing position (another big mistake), didn’t quit and let it lose and lose till it got to -$650.

When will I learn?

I haven’t put here any political film for a while. So here is one for today:


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Worst Day

Posted by Deb | Big Loss,Day Trading Journey | Monday 12 July 2010 6:16 pm

Today I had another grand loss. Another $1000 went down the drain, and I don’t know what will happen to my bank account.

I started with 2 contracts in a short position. It started well, but the market went up high and passed the R1 pivot line. Then it went back down, and up again. I decided, as my rules indicate, to get out of it. I went out of one, than added another contract at a higher position. I don’t remember exactly how things went, but eventually I got out at a loss of -$450.

If you know my rules, I should have at this point closed the platform and stopped trading for today. But I didn’t want to. I added a position which gave me $100, so I was now at -$350.

I decided to have one more position, and then things went out of hand. The market went crazy, much too stronger for my internet connection. But the platform didn’t freeze, it just didn’t respond to my orders. I pressed, and when it did not respond pressed again, and nothing happened. Than after a few minutes my orders did appear, but at this point they were not good. So I was losing. And so things went bad all the time.

Every time I reached for the phone to try and call the broker and let him get me out, the position started to be winning. I waited, then it went bad, up and down, and everything I pressed was accepted too late and made me lose.

Finally I thought I went out of the position, but then orders I pressed long ago started being accepted. Everything was so slow and crazy, and I had no idea what was going on, where my orders are etc. The brackets would appear after I had pressed already “cancel all” to get out of it, it was a nightmare. It was like trading on blind.

Finally I got locked out. Some invisible order I had given long ago and didn’t appear got caught and I lost a lot with it.

After the system locked me up I still heard the platform beeping as if other orders of mine have been met. I hope the broker had really locked me out and nothing else was caught.

The most annoying thing is that had I just sticked with my initial position, I would have been now with a profit of $300. I should have stayed with that, let the potential loss of the position get to -$600 or something like that, and then things would have been going up again. Maybe I should throw away the rules and stay with my initial intuition?

What do I do now?

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