I intended to go back trading this morning, right after the holiday of Pesach, but already on the last few days I felt I am not up to it yet. I still have to gather some courage.

I opened the trading platform this morning and followed it for a while. I didn’t get any clear signal, and had no desire to wait for too long. I guess I am still disappointed and a little bit scared after my last failures.

I have already decided that when I trade again I will do it with no milestones in mind. I will have the simple goal of $30 net profit each day, and will not try for more. I will just trade until I feel I can do better, and of course if my account will allow it.

I will probably take off a few more days. Maybe till the next week. We will see.

I appologize to my regular followers. I hope to be back soon.

For those who are wondering: After the last losses I had, and since this week is anyway the Jewish holiday of Pessach, I decided to take this week off from trading.

I hope I will feel confident enough next week to go back to trading. I know losses have in the past had a bad psychological effect on me, leading to more losses. I hope I will be able to avoid that this time!

I lost again today.

I waited too long to get into a long position. The indicators were all showing the market is on its way up (though only for a few pips), and I hesitated because it was not moving. Finally I did enter, in the end of the way up. I wanted to gain a bit more so I added a second contract.

The first contract was exited as expected with a $37.5 profit, but then the market turned back. When I finally quit I lost $100. I wanted to try one more time, and again lost $25.

Now I have to go back to my first milestone:) I feel I am losing my patience. I hope not to do more mistakes because of it. It seemed I stopped being cautious. I have to keep remembering how small my account is, and trade accordingly.

Today I got back to my first milestone – my account is now again over $1500. I got today $75 on 2 contracts: I was a bit braver today, and let myself win another pips. Had I waited another 10 minutes, I would have been able to get more pips, but with my small account I don’t let myself any risks now.

I hope this round will get me soon to the second milestone of $2000, with no more back slashes.

Today I got $62.5 on two contracts. Not bad, but of course I am disappointed: I was hoping to get by the end of this week to my second milestone of having my account back at $2000, and instead I have to repeat the first milestone of $1500.

Coming to think of that, when I was working in high-tech it wasn’t so rear to have to extent the first milestone instead of going on to the second. Maybe I have to think of it in this way.

Today I lost. Big loss: -$437.5 over 2 contracts.

I waited a long time for a right moment to go in. I missed a good position by hesitating too much at the begining, and then waited and waited, and finally lost my patience. I entered with one contract, and when the market went against me I added one more contract instead of getting out: I had no real indicator that the market will where I wanted it to go. I was stubborn and stupid.

With the 2 contracts, I had a good opportunity to get out with a small loss, but it was still a bigger loss than I was prepared to endure so I waited and waited, and finally lost big time.

On a different level, I was telling people about my trading experience. In the past, after every time I spoke with people about my trading – I lost. I guess when speaking about trading with other people I get into the mood of “yes, I am a trader. I will trade every day and win”. And then my ego gets too big and I enter positions without being cautious enough. Instead of telling myself today: “I couldn’t find a good time to enter today, so never mind – I will trade tomorrow”, I entered with no real indicators, and then waited for the market to turn around with no real indicators it will ever do that.

A few weeks ago, when I starting the current “trading period”, I remember quitting a position with a small loss and being happy and proud of myself of quitting on time. Today I lost it. I didn’t quit in time, and lost big time.

I am stubborn. I will continue. I will make progress. I have to go back to trading cautiously, only when I have real indicators, and quitting in time.

Wish me luck!

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I ate a lot of chocolate. I screamed unproportionally on my eldest boy. I am trying to be indifferent, but I am not. I lost the profits of 3 weeks. I stopped being cautious about my trading. Will I be ever able to trade “by the rules”, and make a real profit? This is so discouraging!

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This week has been a very busy one, and I did not have enough time to write here. I was going to write also a short history of my trading experience for the newcomers, but that will have to wait for next week, hopefully, or the week after.

Anyway, I have been trading yesterday and today, meeting my goals: Yesterday I got $37.5 on one contract, and today $62.5 on 3 contracts.